insecure

everytime i hear her voice, i feel as if i'm lifted up. my mood gets high, and i feel so nice talking to her. bad things seem to be okay, sadness become happiness, everything seem so nice when i talk to her, when i hear her voice, when i gets her attention. it's something i can't describe in words. it's something very meaningful to me, and something i want to hold on for as long as i can.

if someone were to ask me who i like most after all these years, i'd answer without doubt that it is the girl which i think of when it rains, the girl i think of when i see pizza, the girl i think of when i come across the word 'lame'. but if someone ask me now, who i like most, the only person which comes across my mind is the girl which i have searched for more than one year. the girl i've longed to be with since i first met her. the girl i'll always relate to mcD. the girl i've been ever so close with, the girl i've became so emotionally attached to. she is this special person which gave me this special feeling where i'll always feel special...

but lately, i fear one thing, she might leave me some day. insecurity perhaps? i trust her with all my heart. but it's the absence that worries me. i've always told myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder. but it seems so hard to hold on to what i believe. i want to believe. but it's sad that i want to be with her right now, at this very moment... i want to assure her that she's the girl i like most. things seem so hard for me. i've been worrying myself too much. worried sick. sick worrying. i dunno.

i really hope, really wish, really pray that she'll be beside me no matter what happens for as long as time lives...love ya.